is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
