like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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