i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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