alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize