He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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