he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
