my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
