I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
