Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
