..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize