I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
