Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Need sex. Gaining weight.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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