thus making me awesome and them whores
home. puking in laundry basket.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
