I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
