Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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