What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
