You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize