There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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