i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
