If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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