Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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