Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
