Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
