Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize