Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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