...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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