Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
