my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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