I want to stick my p in your. b.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize