But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Randomize
