Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Houston, we have a blender
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
