Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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