I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
There are leaves in my underwear?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
