I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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