Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
this just has baby written all over it
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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