I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
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