Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
