Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
