Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
