if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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