i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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