its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
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