why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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