Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
