R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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