Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I smell stomach acid.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
i out mim tonsoeep
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
