I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
