only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Even my vagina gasped.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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