Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
