my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
