I just threw up on my dentist
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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