Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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