I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
