He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
