living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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