well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
