we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
