she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
