my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
