i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
