Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
