just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Say something about gay babies.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
