I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
