yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize