THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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