I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
