i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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