I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
